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This is the exact minute we landed on the moon. Four hours later I did a really funny bit on the Dean Martin Summer… twitter.com/i/web/st…

I saw a few minutes of the Trump rally and heard the audience yelling “send her back”. I thought they were referring to Melania.

New tape shows up showing Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein partying in the 90s. We’ll know how serious the tape is… twitter.com/i/web/st…

Trump declares this morning “I don’t have a racist bone in my body.” Doctors agree. It’s all in his muscles.

R.I.P Rip Torn. He was so great in Defending Your Life. I'll miss you Rip, you were a true original.

I was in the middle of tweeting a very funny joke and then a 7.1 earthquake happened and I forgot the punchline.

Nike to introduce sneakers celebrating Revolutionary War. One will be made in the USA one will be made in Great Bri… twitter.com/i/web/st…

Woke up to news that Trump met Kim. Hope it was a success. I guess we won’t know till we see how many people Kim shoots.

Excited for tonight. Maybe the democrats will pick the best 6 and run as The Avengers.

Now I want to see this. indiewire.com/galler…

It was one of my best bits. RT @IoT2040: It’s exquisite, dry comedy. I think Albert Brooks wrote it. twitter.com/THErealD…

Next week is a big week for Trump according to him. He’s going to deport millions of illegals and then possibly w… twitter.com/i/web/st…

Sarah Huckabee Sanders is leaving the White House, rumor has it she will be replaced by Pinocchio.

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